Situation: Your kids are fighting and you don’t want to nurture aggression or weakness. How should you respond?
Parent Talk Summary: Anytime you do something different with your kids, it gets their attention. Say “freeze!” for example, instead of “stop it.” Tell aggressor to “Hold it right there. You’re a very important part of this play.” Then go to the one that looks like they are being picked on and say “This doesn’t look like it’s working; surely there has got to be something you can do or say that will change this for you.” Don’t give the child ideas for a solution – instead make the child think of ways to solve the problem.
Tip: Diane tells parents how to teach children how to fight by creating a play out of the fight and giving everyone a role.
Diane Moore is a certified family life counselor and parent mentor with a private practice in Vancouver. Parent Talk is her radio talk show heard in Portland, Vancouver and Boise. Today’s tip comes from a conversation between Diane and one of the show’s callers. It has been edited for time.
Audio produced by Naylene Frunk
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