http://couv.com Audio and video stories from Southwest Washington. Fri, 07 Nov 2014 16:49:26 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5 Audio and video stories from Southwest Washington. Audio and video stories from Southwest Washington. no Audio and video stories from Southwest Washington. http://couv.com/wp-content/plugins/powerpress/rss_default.jpg http://couv.com/category/lifestyles/parent-talk http://couv.com/programs/identify-real-problem http://couv.com/programs/identify-real-problem#comments Fri, 13 Apr 2012 07:52:22 +0000 COUV.COM staff http://couv.com/?p=18278 http://couv.com/programs/identify-real-problem/feed 0 diane moore,encourage good behavior in kids,parent talk,parent whisperer,video Situation: How do you stop being simply reactive to bad behavior? -   - Parent Talk Tip: Diane Moore says that if you're just trying to stop bad behavior all the time by making it go away, you're missing a great opportunity. - Situation: How do you stop being simply reactive to bad behavior?   Parent Talk Tip: Diane Moore says that if you're just trying to stop bad behavior all the time by making it go away, you're missing a great opportunity. Every problem is an opportunity to think a little deeper about the root cause of the behavior, Moore says. "What is the real problem? What is the character that needs to be instilled?" For example, Moore says parents are often simply conditioned to accept bad behavior in adolescence, instead of addressing the root character issues. "Challenge kids to get out of themselves," she adds. Diane Moore is a certified family life counselor and parent mentor with a private practice in Vancouver. Parent Talk is her radio talk show heard in Portland, Vancouver and Boise. Today’s tip comes from a conversation between Moore and one of the show’s callers. It has been edited for time. ENTER TO WIN a FREE book written by Diane Moore. Leave your thoughts in the comments section on this post or any of our previous posts, such as Three simple steps to obedient children. Audio and video stories from Southwest Washington. no http://couv.com/programs/communicating-grace http://couv.com/programs/communicating-grace#comments Wed, 04 Apr 2012 07:58:35 +0000 COUV.COM staff http://couv.com/?p=18282 http://couv.com/programs/communicating-grace/feed 0 http://couv.com/programs/parent-talk-being-mom http://couv.com/programs/parent-talk-being-mom#comments Wed, 28 Mar 2012 07:03:17 +0000 COUV.COM staff http://couv.com/?p=18288 http://couv.com/programs/parent-talk-being-mom/feed 0 http://couv.com/programs/victim-aggressor-roles http://couv.com/programs/victim-aggressor-roles#comments Wed, 21 Mar 2012 13:40:20 +0000 COUV.COM staff http://couv.com/?p=18254 http://couv.com/programs/victim-aggressor-roles/feed 0 http://couv.com/programs/responsibility-and-children http://couv.com/programs/responsibility-and-children#comments Wed, 25 Jan 2012 21:58:21 +0000 COUV.COM staff http://couv.com/?p=15521 http://couv.com/programs/responsibility-and-children/feed 0 audio,diane moore,offer,parent talk,parenting Situation: How do you know when to give your child more responsibility? - Parent Talk Tip: Diane Moore says that while parents have to guard their "pack leader" status in the home, at some point it's time to relax and go back to the drawing board. Situation: How do you know when to give your child more responsibility? Parent Talk Tip: Diane Moore says that while parents have to guard their "pack leader" status in the home, at some point it's time to relax and go back to the drawing board. A child who has a strong personality and is very articulate and intuitive may need to take on more responsibility and make more decisions. A strong leader looks at each individual child and sees where he or she needs different handling. "I'm going to have to give them power and responsibility," a parent may say. But Moore warns: If you give a child power without the responsibility that comes with it, your child will probably end with a case of DRA - dirty rotten attitude - the biggest problem parents face. Diane Moore is a certified family life counselor and parent mentor with a private practice in Vancouver. Parent Talk is her radio talk show heard in Portland, Vancouver and Boise. Today’s tip comes from a conversation between Moore and one of the show’s callers. It has been edited for time. Audio produced by Ed Stortro ENTER TO WIN a FREE book written by Diane Moore. Leave your thoughts in the comments section on this post or any of our previous posts, such as Three simple steps to obedient children. Parent Talk is going live soon. If you would like to be one of the first to know when, email us at ParentTalk@couv.com. We’ll send you Parent Talk Live updates. Audio and video stories from Southwest Washington. no 1:47 http://couv.com/programs/poor-choices http://couv.com/programs/poor-choices#comments Wed, 28 Dec 2011 14:25:30 +0000 COUV.COM staff http://couv.com/?p=12724 http://couv.com/programs/poor-choices/feed 0 audio,carol doane,diane moore,ed stortro,packleader,parent talk Parent Talk: protecting kids from poor choices Situation: A single mother is struggling with her 14-year-old daughter who wants to do her own thing. In the past, the daughter has made bad decisions – run away from home, made poor choices in friends, Parent Talk: protecting kids from poor choices Situation: A single mother is struggling with her 14-year-old daughter who wants to do her own thing. In the past, the daughter has made bad decisions – run away from home, made poor choices in friends, and the mother feels she is too young to have a boyfriend. The conflict for the mother is that she made bad choices in her past, too, and wants to protect her daughter from making similar mistakes. Parent Talk tip: Diane Moore suggests that when you parent out of fear it can make you appear weak to your children and, in turn, your children feel weak and powerless. She uses the example of working with a dog and stepping out as the the pack leader. A dog knows if you're afraid, and your teen will know too. She suggests that telling children what to do leads to misunderstandings because they don't understand that the parent is trying to shield them from pain. Moore advises that the mom explain she understands what it feels like to have a broken heart, and express out of love, "If you want to learn the hard way, you can." Moore encourages the mother to be a strong pack leader, be at peace and resolve, "I'm going to do what I need to do as a parent. I’m going to be a strong pack leader. But I’m going to do it out of principle, and out of love and understanding, rather than fear." The podcast is included at the top of this post. Diane Moore is a certified family life counselor and parent mentor with a private practice in Vancouver. Parent Talk is her radio talk show heard in Portland, Vancouver and Boise. Today’s tip comes from a conversation between Moore and one of the show’s callers. It has been edited for time. CREDITS Audio produced by Ed Stortro ENTER TO WIN a FREE book written by Diane Moore. Leave your thoughts in the comments section on this post, or any of our previous Parent Talk tips. Parent Talk is going live soon. If you would like to be the first to know when, email us at ParentTalk@couv.com. We’ll send you Parent Talk Live updates. Audio and video stories from Southwest Washington. no 1:54 http://couv.com/programs/holiday-parent-tips-5 http://couv.com/programs/holiday-parent-tips-5#comments Mon, 19 Dec 2011 19:45:16 +0000 COUV.COM staff http://couv.com/?p=12409 http://couv.com/programs/holiday-parent-tips-5/feed 0 audio,christmas,diane moore,holiday,holiday stress,parent talk,parent talk tip,santa claus,turkey In this five-part podcast, family life counselor Diane Moore shares helpful tips for families to survive the holidays. - Thanksgiving is past and Christmas is just a few weeks away. How do you feel about all the work that goes into preparing the food... In this five-part podcast, family life counselor Diane Moore shares helpful tips for families to survive the holidays. Thanksgiving is past and Christmas is just a few weeks away. How do you feel about all the work that goes into preparing the food for that special Christmas dinner? Diane Moore has some insights about food and Christmas on today’s Parent Talk tips. Diane Moore: One of the things that I hear from parents a lot is this: What do I do with Santa Claus? And you know, it’s personal, people do different things. I’ve never harshly rebuked people. But I’ll tell you what I’ve come to appreciate about the topic of Santa Claus is the real story, the true story of Saint Nicholas. There’s a lot to be found in that little story. We as Christians can say, "Well, he is bad, we don’t like him because he’s stolen the stage from what’s most important." But I think there is great value in taking something that is a cultural icon and using it to teach your kids. I think there is a lot to be taught to children with the story of Santa Claus, since they are going to see him anyway. Might as well, every time they see him, use that as a teaching lesson. St. Nicholas was a young boy in Turkey, probably. And he was an orphan. He had lost both his mom and his dad, and they were very wealthy. So he was left with a lot of money, but he didn’t have parents, and he was raised by priests. And he grew up and wanted to be a priest. That meant that he would have to take the vow of poverty. So, he had all this money, but, he took the vow of proverty. So what did he do with this money? He decided he would be a gift giver, that he would help rescue people who needed money, like a father whose daughters could never marry, or that they become slaves because of how the cultural structure was set up. So he could give this family money and rescue those daughters from slavery. Well, that was complicated, because you just give people money and it affects their dignity. So the legend goes, that he would put money through a window, and it would fall into the stocks that they hung to dry or maybe down a chimney. That’s where we get the oranges in our stockings that represent the gold that St. Nicolas put down the chimney. I don’t know what all is true but you tell your kids this is part of a legend. There’s some truth to it - we don’t know how much, but think about all that’s entailed in that story. It's gift giving, it’s how we give gifts. We have to be careful - the things you can teach from the stories are powerful. I say use it.   Diane Moore is a certified family life counselor and parent mentor with a private practice in Vancouver. Her radio talk show Parent Talk is heard in Portland, Vancouver and Boise. CREDITS Audio captured and edited by Ed Stortro Audio and video stories from Southwest Washington. no 3:07 http://couv.com/programs/holiday-parent-tips-4 http://couv.com/programs/holiday-parent-tips-4#comments Fri, 16 Dec 2011 19:45:28 +0000 COUV.COM staff http://couv.com/?p=12111 http://couv.com/programs/holiday-parent-tips-4/feed 0 audio,christmas,diane moore,ed stortro,holiday,holiday food,holiday stress,materialism,memory maker,parent talk,parent talk tip In this five-part podcast, family life counselor Diane Moore shares helpful tips for families to survive the holidays. - Thanksgiving is past and Christmas is just a few weeks away. How do you feel about all the work that goes into preparing the food... In this five-part podcast, family life counselor Diane Moore shares helpful tips for families to survive the holidays. Thanksgiving is past and Christmas is just a few weeks away. How do you feel about all the work that goes into preparing the food for that special Christmas dinner? Diane Moore has some insights about food and Christmas on today’s Parent Talk tips. Diane Moore: Let’s talk about food, food and Christmas. You know what I find interesting is in the Old Testament. When God wanted His people to celebrate a great historical event He always surrounded it with a feast. Why did He do that? 'Cause He made us, and He knows how our brains work. And the most powerful memory maker is food. It’s olfactory – smell and taste. And anything we take with smell and taste it goes directly to the center of the brain, the absolute core of the brain and the limbic system, that’s where the olfactory or smell and taste is processed. And it by-passes all other brain function. So, whatever is happening in the room when you eat becomes very powerful. Have you noticed that? Have you noticed that when there is conflict and you eat, it’s horrible! Food sticks in your throat. Have you noticed that when things are really good, when do you really look around and appreciate your family? Usually, it’s at the dinner table and you are looking at the rosy cheeks of your little kids, and you are going, "Man does it doesn’t get better than this?" Cause you are probably eating. Why? Because you're taking what is in the room and you are taking it straight to the brain. So, let’s use it. There’s a reason we have a feast at Christmas. Here’s what people usually do, they tell the Christmas story right before they open the presents. There’s not a big memory maker there. I would say, tell the Christmas story around the feast, while you are eating. Whatever you want to take straight to the brain of your child, do it around the feast. And at the dinner table, it’s not about saying, "This is great cranberry sauce. Oh, the turkey turned out really good." You’re probably going to say those things, but the things I want you to be – that I encourage you to be intentional about – is the connecting of hearts, and the connecting of hearts to the story. Here’s a great question that you can ask at your Christmas table this year. Ask your kids this question: "If you arrived in Bethelem today, a long time ago – 2000 years ago – just in time for Mary and Joseph to be sitting down for their Christmas story, who would you sit by? Would you sit by Mary, or Joseph, or the manger that’s been pulled up alongside Mary, or the shepherds, or the kings? Who would you want to sit by? And what would you want to talk about?" Make it real. And, putting the spotlight on your kids, as you are sitting at the table, it helps them sit there and know they are part of an incredible celebration. Asking the question, you're in charge. And they are not in charge of disrupting what’s going on. You have kind of taken control, but given them the spotlight. So, don’t waste this powerful drug that I call food. Don’t waste it. Make sure that environment is good.   Diane Moore is a certified family life counselor and parent mentor with a private practice in Vancouver. Her radio talk show is Parent Talk heard in Portland, Vancouver and Boise.   CREDITS Audio captured and edited by Ed Stortro Audio transcription by Ed Stortro Audio and video stories from Southwest Washington. no 3:12 http://couv.com/programs/holiday-tips-for-parents-3 http://couv.com/programs/holiday-tips-for-parents-3#comments Thu, 15 Dec 2011 21:34:14 +0000 COUV.COM staff http://couv.com/?p=11599 http://couv.com/programs/holiday-tips-for-parents-3/feed 0 audio,christmas,diane moore,ed stortro,holiday,holiday stress,materialism,parent talk,parent talk tip In this five-part podcast, family life counselor Diane Moore shares helpful tips for families to survive the holidays. - When the weather starts getting colder and the hint of snow is in the air we look forward in expectation. In this five-part podcast, family life counselor Diane Moore shares helpful tips for families to survive the holidays. When the weather starts getting colder and the hint of snow is in the air we look forward in expectation. Diane Moore reflects on the wonder of Christmas in today’s Parent Talk tips. Diane Moore: Christmas is about wonder. We don’t want to miss the Christmas of wonder. A lot of times, as parents we just want to raise our kids and we’d want to do a good job, and we’re just working so hard that we don’t know how we are coming across to our kids. We really want them to do the right things. And so, to our kids sometimes it can be interpreted as, “Oh, my parents all they care about is this list of do's and don’ts. And if I just behaved this way, then I’ll be acceptable in my family. I’ll be loved.” And that’s not what is in our hearts. Don’t you think God has that same problem? We interpret Him that way too. We say, “Why, God only cares about my outward behavior,” but that's not true about God, and it’s not true about you. And one thing that we can do at Christmas, with our kids is to take captive the message of Christmas. And look for ways to experience its wonder. Because, we’re not going to sell the list of do's and don’ts to our kid’s very well, they are not going to be buying it, like we want them to be buying it. Do you know how we sell stuff to kids? We sell them the dream. We sell them the dream, that’s what’s sellable. The world is doing a really good job of this. Disney is great at selling a dream. Bill Gates was great selling a dream. The guys, who understand it out there in the world, they're doing gang busters. They're steering the culture. They're in charge. But do you know what I say to parents, who want raise kids of character and parents who love God? "We’ve got the best dream. We’ve got it!" But we're selling the list of to do's and don’ts. Yeah, I know those do's and don’ts, they're important, because that’s the kind of stuff that keeps us from the dream. But we’ve got to start selling the dream better. Christmas is a great time to do it. Jesus came. God came, as a baby. What’s that about? Who can wrap their head around that? You know, God’s in a manger. You could kiss his face. You know, if I had to answer that question that I talked about in another podcast, “Who would you sit by at the Christmas table, the shepherds, the kings?" I’d say, "Mary, can I just watch over Jesus?" And I’d just kiss his face. And just wonder if that was even okay. That’s just mind bending. Bring your kids into that wonder. Wonder means you don’t understand it. And they've got to see you grapple with it, and not get it, to get into that world. Cause, they're not going to get it by you trying to make them wonder. They're going to get it by watching you wonder. Watching you be moved by a beautiful Christmas carol. Watching you be moved by the things that you see. That they’re so beautiful, that celebrate Christmas and what they mean, the lights at the darkest time of the year. So, celebrate that wonder. Experience that wonder. Just go out and feel it. And let your kids watch ya.   Diane Moore is a certified family life counselor and parent mentor with a private practice in Vancouver. Her radio talk show is Parent Talk heard in Portland, Vancouver and Boise.   CREDITS Audio captured and edited by Ed Stortro Audio transcription by Ed Stortro Audio and video stories from Southwest Washington. no 3:24 http://couv.com/programs/holiday-parent-tips-2 http://couv.com/programs/holiday-parent-tips-2#comments Wed, 14 Dec 2011 21:04:38 +0000 COUV.COM staff http://couv.com/?p=11602 http://couv.com/programs/holiday-parent-tips-2/feed 0 audio,christmas,diane moore,ed stortro,goat,holiday,holiday stress,materialism,parent talk,parent talk tip,salvation army,worldconcern.org In this five-part podcast, family life counselor Diane Moore shares helpful tips for families to survive the holidays. - Parents are worried about materialism at Christmas. Our culture is all about materialism, In this five-part podcast, family life counselor Diane Moore shares helpful tips for families to survive the holidays. Parents are worried about materialism at Christmas. Our culture is all about materialism, bbecause billions and billions of dollars are spent on advertising to make us feel discontent with what we have, and especially to make our children feel discontent with what they have, so that they can write their Christmas list in great detail. So, we come by it honestly, being bent toward looking at Christmas as a time for what are we going to get. One of the things parents can do is to model "different." What we do in our home sometimes is that we let the kids lead, and they choose the topic. I would say to parents who are concerned about materialism this Christmas, be proactive. Check out World Concern, World Concern.org. They have a global gift guide. And you can buy animals. You can buy a lot of things, but I think for kids the most interesting thing is the animals. You can say, “Hey, you know what I think we ought to get for Christmas this year? I think we need to get a goat!” And, so, go on the website and say, “Let’s buy a goat.” That will get the kids attention until they realize, well, we're not going to actually keep the goat, and actually we probably won’t even ever pet the goat. But we're going to get a goat for someone. We can imagine what it will be like for this family to get a goat for Christmas. When I was a kid, we actually raised the goat and I remember helping get that wiry thing into the trunk of my mother’s car, so she could take it to Lodi where it would be put on a boat and taken to Africa. But, we are not going to be doing that. So, you get to do it the easy way. Just go to worldconcern.org and buy an animal. Let your kids choose. You’re modeling anti-materialism. And what do you do with the ringing bell as you walk by it? We had a plan where we never walked by a bell without putting money in. I’d always save up money in the car so the kids all had something, they had something to put into the Salvation Army bucket. Their motto is doing the most good. And that was a way we helped our kids deal with when they are going shopping and they are looking in the street corners and they see cold people, who are holding cardboard signs, and they are saying we need food. What do you do with that, do you give money to everyone? That's a tough question. And our answer, in our family - and everybody has to wrestle with that themselves - was we want to give to organizations that can help people like this, 'cause we don’t know how to help them very well. We’re not smart. We’re going to do what God tells us to do. And sometimes He calls us to do extraordinary things that we don’t really understand what’s happening. But we try to be smart in our gift giving. And Salvation Army, World Concern, find something like that to model what Christmas is really about.   Known by some as the parent whisperer, Diane Moore is a Certified Family Life Counselor and parent mentor with a private practice in Vancouver, Washington. Her radio talk show is Parent Talk heard in Portland, Vancouver and Boise.   CREDITS Audio captured and edited by Ed Stortro Audio transcription by Ed Stortro Audio and video stories from Southwest Washington. no 3:05